Authority over Sexuality

           It’s bad enough that some citizens depend on society for approval of daily life. We endure the fun times, like gender stereotyping, racial and sexist bias, and many other actions that seem to succeed at attacking the self-esteem or praise the ignorant narrative of another person.

            There are many books and magazines focusing on the issue of better sex with one’s lover, kama sutra sensations, and the legitimacy of studying sexuality. Because of the sensitive nature of the topic, some still don’t feel comfortable explaining this topic to others of old and young. Sad but true, it needs to be talked about.

            Society feels that black women have neither sexual control nor sexual morality (Wyatt). In a like manner, Hispanic women have endured poverty, homelessness, violence, and imprisonment separation all for the sake of love as told through the novel, Random Family by Adrian Nicole LeBlanc. Women who were sexually abused as a child logically believe that ‘trickin’ can be both a positive and a negative justification, similar to Annette’s situation in God Don’t Like Ugly by Mary Monroe. Myths are created in order to promote the false belief that certain people lack couth as opposed to the majority counterpart. What other myths need exploiting?

            Not everyone knows the sexual state of mind for a black woman unless one has valid experiences as a black woman. According to Dr. Gail Elizabeth Wyatt, author of the book, Stolen Women: Reclaiming our Sexuality, Taking Back our Lives, living in a sex-obsessed society results in the dangerous concept that black women must ignore their sexuality and result in being devalued as a whole. Dr Wyatt has conducted research in her book pertaining to this topic. One participant talked of wearing an extravagant outfit her husband bought for her for a special occasion. While she was waiting for the elevator in the hotel lobby, two Caucasian men walked passed the nicely-dressed woman and exclaimed, “She must cost at least $100!” Was she wrong for wanting to look pretty and boost her self-confidence or were the men wrong for their remarks?

            One can enforce the guarantee of sexual gratification from another person through the use of sexual coercion. This tactic includes persuasion, argumentation, cajoling, alcohol, drugs and sometimes physical force in order to get to sexual activity (Strong, Sayad and Devault). Sexual violence exists in the forms of sexual aggression, sexual assault/abuse, molestation, incest, and rape. Believe it or not, society must have a mandatory confrontation on this topic. If one says, ‘NO, STOP, DON’T TOUCH ME, ARE YOU DEAF…’ and the aggressor doesn’t feel the need to listen, his/her outlook is infected with the lack of knowledge as well as respect for themselves and others; however they’ll only hope they can sleep at night with ease.

            As previously mentioned, sex and sexuality are sensitive subjects. Yet it’s filled with so much corruption that can destroy the lives of so many innocent trying to make a living. It seems like a no way street because it’s hard to decipher which age is appropriate to talk about sex and sexuality with young children. In a like manner, it’s not a good idea to delay these important topics because one can obtain influences from the media, peer pressure, and observe behaviors from close friends. It’s time to transform the story of birds and the bees to one’s right over sexuality…as guided by the in-crowd.

 References:

LeBlanc, A.N. Random Family. Scribner Publishing, 2003.

Monroe, M. God Don’t Like Ugly. Kensington Books. 2000.

Strong, B., Sayad, B.W., & Devault, C. Core Concepts in Human Sexuality. Mayfield Publishing Company. 1995

Wyatt, Dr. G.E. Stolen Women: Reclaiming our Sexuality, Taking Back our Lives. John Wiley and Sons Inc. 1997 

Fahari-Libertad Magazine "Shh ... Say it Louder" Issue, March 2008